It's said that hindsight is 20-20, and I'll be damned if it's been providing a great deal of change in my childhood perspective lately. So I will share a couple of them with you. The first involves abandonment issues from childhood. For years, I was under the impression and assumption that I was seriously wounded by my father abandoning us, when it was far from the truth. Because I was so young and a strong empath, I couldn't decipher my emotions from my moms. She was the one feeling abandoned, not me. I felt relief. When he was around, it was not a positive environment for any of us. Being the oldest of four kids, hypersensitive, and unable to articulate what I was experiencing made my formative years challenging is definitely an understatement. And I'm not bitter about it because it helped me to exercise compassion for those in similar settings. Unbiased listening is a skill set necessary in light work, along with establishing healthy boundaries.
Don't get me wrong; I don't blame my father for his actions, or my mom's relationship with him. They have their karmic contract to fulfill, just the rest of us, so holding a grudge is not going to change anything. But it did teach me life lessons regarding karma and being mindful of whom you choose to get into a relationship with, especially if there are children or will be involved. While there are certainly inherited behavior traits passed down through the generations, making toxic choices with them in the mix is never a good thing, and I realize this now. I knew early on that having children was out of the question for me, and not because of being gay. Deep within my psyche, it was clear to me that I would be inclined to being the type of parent who wouldn't honor the responsibility and accountability, and damn was I right. For this factor of my life, I am eternally grateful. Humanity does not need another wounded child struggling to work out their pain as adults while hurting others.
Another insight is with the pastor of the church (and some school) that I grew up in. He was very charismatic and persuasive at the pulpit and in public, but behind the doors of his home, he was entirely different. This, unfortunately, is the case for many religious leaders. They live the antithesis of what they teach while expecting the eyes and ears of their congregations to be blind, deaf, and dumb to their true selves. Anyway, I remember like it was yesterday when one of his sons approached me after service and said, “Terry, you know what? My dad's a hypocrite.” I was shocked and asked him why. He then told me how his dad was preaching to the congregations to get rid of their televisions because they were spreading evil, and yet they had one in their living room they watched often. He even named the popular shows that were playing at the time. That shook me.
What's also crazy about this is that in a recent in a conversation with my mom, one of us brought up this pastor because his health is steadily declining. We then took a stroll down memory lane, sharing some of the negative experiences we had. We were both amazed at how we discovered that he had a TV in our particular ways. She shared with me how, during a visit with another church member to his home for some reason, they clocked the television cabinet in the living room (as I was told by the son). After they left, they were upset because he was indeed a hypocrite, and my mom confronted him about it. Now here's the clincher: his wife had the nerve to tell my mom how upset she was for calling out her husband because he got rid of the television. What? Another perspective on the past, teaching you the truths hiding behind the smoke screens of delusion and confusion.
Life lessons are a trip, in and of themselves. Like the saying goes, time heals all wounds. We are definitely in some times of profound changes and shifts in our collective consciousness, aren't we? Repeating negative cycles is no longer an option, for we've come to the edge of dynamic forward motion, not regression.
We only repeat the things we have not learned, so it's time to get serious because cosmic school is in session, demanding we pass or fail miserably. The current karma playing out is a result of refusing to release an old mindset stuck in an old paradigm. We're here to co-create a peaceful environment for all sentient life forms, not destroy it. The planet is resilient, and humanity needs to get on board with leveling up with the coming changes ahead, fast. The new consciousness recognizes and fosters the belief that we're all in this thing called life together. Learn, heal, and move on.
If this message resonates with you, and you'd like to book a tarot/oracle reading or experience one of my healing services, book at the link below.
Love, Light, Ashe,
Terry (Founder @Trinity Readings And Healings.com)
https://www.trinityreadingsandhealings.com
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