Respecting The Boundaries Regarding Addiction & Abuse
Namaste, Y'all,
Today I would like to broach a topic that may trigger some of you. It deals with the subject of boundaries regarding the responsibility of a spiritual servant (lightworker, healer, guru, minister, etc.) and their clients facing addiction and abuse. Where does one draw the line in setting boundaries and limits when working with one who is experiencing these? What is the best course of action to take when faced with such a task? I want to share an example where I was placed in a vicarious position and how I responded, and I'll let you be the judge and jury. Life is an ongoing classroom where we learn through direct experience, and no matter how many books and stories have been written. We all have a unique perception and various ways of processing our information, which is why it's imperative that we not assume anything. Everyone is an authentic expression of a spiritual being moving through a physical reality. There is no cure-all or definitive blueprint to follow. It's simply trial and error. A major part of being on this earthly plane is to constantly remind ourselves just how vulnerable we really are in the vastness of reality. We're floating on a planet in the middle of an infinite galaxy while coexisting with all its sentient life forms. That's crazy!
My first experience involved me working (consulting) with a client who was a drug addict and really struggling to get clean. I, too, was a homeless, hardcore drug addict and alcoholic abuser for several years. His immediate family had no addiction issues and were at a loss at how to help him. Understanding his side, I knew that I had to be cautious of his vulnerability, mindful of the edge he was teetering on, while the family wanted hard answers and remedies that would do more harm than they realized. I understood both perspectives, but his was the one that mattered. When you're going through a crisis, you don't want to be shoved into deeper insecurity. This is what the family was unconsciously doing, so they couldn't be faulted. And the fact that they had not experienced this personally or ever in their family's history made it feel even more dire. In times of stress and duress, the worst move is acting out of desperation. I know this all too well. The results never add up and leave you more jacked up than when you started. So, I sat with this to get an intuitive hit for the best course of action to take in providing a healthy solution for him to consider. I was told to be neutral. Engage in active listening and share my story and the solutions that were beneficial for me, but leave it up to him to decide the course he felt comfortable with.
He did suggest relocating to a new environment, but I let him know that the same temptations would be there waiting for him. The issue was healing the parts of him that felt abandoned, unworthy, and unjustly judged. Until he leaned into these emotional wounds, nothing would change. And those of you who follow my website posts and videos know that I always say, “You cannot read what you do not know.” My healing journey from addiction was tough and scary as hell. When you spend years in denial, depression, and drowning in booze, sex, and drugs, you're going to be faced with some serious demons. And the issues we refuse to heal will continue to reveal themselves until we face and release them, so you can move to the other side of the planet and rest assured that those same demons will resurface until you slay them for good. How many documented stories and films address this? Life will meet you where you are, not where you think it's safe and secure. That's why healing is an inside job. This lesson has had a profound impact on my communication and counseling style. As teachers and healers, it's important to approach the individual without a blanket-defined understanding. Healing these areas takes years, even a lifetime for some of us. The threat of falling off the wagon or succumbing to these ever-lurking dark entities is constant. This is why it is a healing journey, and we must articulate this truth with great empathy and compassion.
As for intervening, I didn't get involved because I know from personal experience that when you come at me (and other addicts, former and present, will attest) with unconscious aggressive pleas and threats, you're only making the situation worse. When someone is ready to heal, they'll do it. Until then, give them space to work out their wounds in their time. Yes, you can ask them to separate from you, which is your right, but to judge them harshly for their painful existence (addictions are painful) is not fair or justified. Compassion, which is one of many languages of love, is the key ingredient needed to exercise in instances such as these. When you take an offensive approach to unknown and unfamiliar territory, you can rest assured you'll run into opposition and resistance. Life is filled with endless side paths and timelines. No one has a straight line towards anything. So being judgmental in a level playing field simply will not work. Every one of us is on a healing journey of some sort, and embracing this will help others to recognize and honor theirs. And remember, y'all, healing hurts. This is why we have to be patient when dealing with our injuries. If you botch the process, you'll get mucked-up results that you may end up regretting down the road. That's why many addicts fall off the recovery wagon several times. It ain't easy breaking ingrained cycles. So exhibit some healthy doses of levity now and again to help lighten the burden of this deeply intense work.
And in closing, I want to remind you of karma. The cosmic law of cause and effect. What we put another through will come back to us. Treating a disease with dis-ease is not the cure or the answer; as I stated earlier, it's compassion. When we have a balanced approach with our empathy, we can be more effective in helping and healing others on their personal journey. In my 61 years, my life lessons have taught me to live my life humbly, simply, and honestly, and to always choose kindness. That's the common thread that keeps circling back to me. I'm no better or worse than the next, just doing the best I can with what I've got until it's no longer serving me and those I encounter. Some people are quite comfortable in their discomfort, and I'm not addressing them. The subject is pointing out the painful results of addiction, which affects everyone, not just the source. Let's do a better job of using discretion, discernment, and exercising compassion when working with those battling these harsh demons. Remember it could be you or a loved one in their place. How many of us come to the realization late in life that we had/have addictions or someone close to us does? Again, I refer to powerful films like The Days of Wine and Roses (1962) and countless other stories handed down through the generations of humanity's existence. Life is hard enough without adding more pain to it. Respect each other and be kind because you may have no idea what others are suffering through.
If this little message strikes a nerve and you'd like to book a tarot/oracle reading session with me or experience one of my healing services, please feel free to contact me at my website link below.
Love, Light, and Happy Healing,
Terry P., Founder @TrinityReadingsandHealings.com
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